its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
