I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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