I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
