Pregnant stripper...not hot.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
