That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
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