We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
