so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
