Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
