is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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