Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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