My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
