"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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