i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
