I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
