Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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