oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
