guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
can u get pink eye on your cock?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
