Screwed.edu
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
