My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
