I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
