Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
