how can u be prego again
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize