Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I want to stick my p in your. b.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
She needs sedatives and a leash
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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