I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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