I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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