I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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