Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
