to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
