so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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