I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Randomize
