Sry I called you an 8
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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