so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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