i don't want you to think of me as your TA
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
