i barfeds in our rink
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
