My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Can I color on your dick again?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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