remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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