I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
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