Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
We had to coat check the pizza.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
