What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
