Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I still have a little drunk in my system
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
