he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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