did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
