Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Found your dick twin last night
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Randomize
