it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize