At least make sure they are 18
Why
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
