how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
