dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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