are you still at the devil's house?
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I have peed in a lot of sinks
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
