I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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