K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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