I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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