Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
