Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
