why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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