I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize