I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
wow bdsm is so cute
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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