Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
