All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Randomize
