So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
