Do you still have your period?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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