i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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