Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
