Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
