I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
