After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
whose parrot is this?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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