I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
