if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
