Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Can you bring me the toilet please
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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