That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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