what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
