God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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