I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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