i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
porn star boner night. come get it.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
