thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
