Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
