I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
