You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
