At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Randomize
