I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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