Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
